Florida with Dad

Monday 9/20/2010 - Looks like we will be able to get the trailer sold if we can't give it away to relatives. We really just need someone to take over the monthly expenses and use the trailer periodically during the year. The problem is this mobile home park is a 55 and older community. But I have all the information and contact numbers of people here at the park who can help me sell the place. I also have the application form that the new owner needs to fill out to get approved at the park.

My asthma or bronchitis is not much better. I am still weak, tired, coughing, wheezing and stuff. I want to get back home soon. It is a little difficult working from here and I am getting homesick. Once Dad sets his mind to something, he doesn't like to wait around to do it. So he is ready to pack up his belongings and head west as soon as we can. I am thinking we can get the get some things done in the morning and then start packing up the van. Maybe I can get two days off at work and head out for Enid on Wednesday.

I am going to put Dad up at the local bed and breakfast, Maple Place, until he can check out the independent living apartments that are available.

Then we can get into a routine where he comes over to my place most days to eat and visit while Dave is at work. As he gets to know people in Enid, he might find bridge games to play or other activities that he would like. I think that he will need to get a hover-round or something to help him get around. He has a lot of trouble walking, but otherwise is in pretty good health for an 87 year old.

changes are afoot

Thursday - 9/16/2010 - I talked to my dad today. He says his shortness of breath is getting so bad he is having trouble getting around his trailer. He is in Florida by himself. His choice. But he is finally telling me that he can no longer care for himself; he needs help.

I need to go to Florida and see what to do. Do I pack him up and drive him back to Enid and find a small place for him to live? Dave and I do not have enough room in our house for another person. Or is he doing so bad that I need to just stay with him down there in Florida for a while?

I don't want to leave Dave alone. I am so torn. When Dave gets home tonight we will have to talk.

Friday - 9/17/2010 - Dave took the news better than I thought he would. He understands that I have to take care of my dad. So I will fly to Florida tomorrow and see if I can convince him to move to Enid where I can help him more with things. I checked around and there are independent living apartments were he can live independently for a reasonable price.

Saturday - 9/18/2010 - I am here at Dad's. He is amenable to packing up and moving west. I am kind of excited in a way. I think he will like it there and I will feel better knowing he is close by.

Sunday - 9/19/2010 - Kari and her in-laws might take the mobile home off Dad's hands. That will be great for Dad. He won't have to worry about the place when he moves. We might be able to leave for Enid during the week this week if it works out.

is my husband crazy?

It is Sunday. Dave finally has a day off. We can sleep in. This will be great. He got home late last night - 1:30 a.m. We didn't go to bed until about 2:30-3:00. I had mentioned that we could go to IHOP in the morning. In Dave's mind this translated to "let's get up early and get to IHOP before the church people do and it get's busy". What? Get up at 8:00 a.m.?

But we did. And it was pretty good. It was nice to get out of the house - together - for once. Now we are happily camped on our couch with our laptops and snacks and HD TV watching NFL football, our fantasy football leagues, checking emails, and monitoring FB for any important information that our friends and family might want to say.

Oh, yeah, my husband is crazy. But I still love him.

the GYM is calling

I want to get back to going to GYM. I miss my personal trainer Stephanie. So, since I felt better today I did a few exercises here in my home to get ready to go back. I turned on some Don Henley and bounced up and down on my exercise ball, held my hand weights and moved my arms in different positions 8 or 10 times, and tried the one hard exercise with the ball that Stephanie had me do. Lie on the floor, put your heels on the exercise ball, lift your hips, and roll the ball towards your behind and out again. I did that about 8 times, I think. I don't think it lasted more than 10 minutes, but it more than I have done in a while.

Tomorrow, I hope to do more. Maybe even walk around the block.

after effects of asthma attack

I thought I would post a follow up of the after effects of the stupid asthma attack. Hopefully it will clear my mind and maybe put some friends and family fears to rest that I am going crazy. Or maybe not. Who knows.

Let me preface this blog post by saying that I hate having to ask anyone for help or not being able to fully accomplish my duties at home and work. I am much happier helping others and doing a good job.

So, anyway, I finally get home from the hospital - where I will remind everyone that I didn't want be in the first place, but the doctor said I had to go and then the doctor said I had to stay - and I am feeling a little better, but I am still coughing, wheezing in the upper airways, and apparently now emotionally off-kilter from the steroids that I got in the hospital.

Do the doctors know everything?
I would say no. I went to the doctor on Thursday because I still felt bad, but not bad enough to be in the hospital. Actually, I hope to never want to be in the hospital. Anyway, I went alone, so maybe I heard him wrong, but he said he thought my reaction to the asthma attack was more than it should have been. What? You mean I was overreacting to not being able to breathe? What the heck was I suppose to do? I haven't had an attack like that ever. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I didn't know what to do. I went to the doctor to help me. The doctor said I needed to go to the hospital. What was I suppose to do? Not go to the hospital? Then when I wanted to go home, the doctor told me I couldn't because my O2 sats and wheezing needed to be under control. Okay, now I am very confused. I guess I will have to talk to him again and see if I misunderstood.

But the steroids and the inhalers and the antibiotics are messing up my body. I think. Or whatever triggered the asthma attack is messing up my body. I still am coughing, wheezing and generally feel weak whenever I try to do anything. But I can breathe. Today, Saturday, I am much better...still coughing and weak, though.

Asthma action plan and regimen:
1. When lungs feel tingly and/or am having trouble with attacks while exercising, I will start nebulizer treatments 4 times a day for a day or so.
2. I will check my peak flow meter readings every day.
3. If the nebulizer treatment doesn't seem to work, I will call the doctor so he can start me on an oral steroid.

Things I should have remembered about my asthma symptoms
Every fall I have problems
Every four years or so, it gets worse (last bad attack was in Fall 2006)
Moving to a different part of the country can cause more problems

What are husband are for anyway?
Okay, I was singing my husband's praises in an earlier blog, but I was really mad at him on Thursday and most of Friday and okay, maybe a little today. No, I think I am over it. What did he do? It was what he didn't do or what I perceived that he didn't do. He didn't take my health seriously. He was very preoccupied with his work and didn't go with me to the doctor the first time and then again on Thursday.

When I am not feeling well I do not (apparently) make good decisions for myself and it would have been helpful if my husband, who granted is overworked and stressed from said work, could have helped me make the decision to go to the doctor, eventually go to the hospital, and later support when when the doctor was saying I was overreacting.

So I was rightfully, I thought, mad at him. But with him being overworked and stressed already, I was not about to confront him during work or late at night. In my mature, yet over emotional, mind I knew that that would not have been a good thing. Not good for him, not good for me. So I plotted in my mind. I needed a good night's sleep. Since Dave has been coming home late, he wants to stay up for a while and companionship. This has caused my sleep habits to be totally out of whack, plus the steroids have not helped either. My plan was put blankets and pillows out on the couch and close the bedroom door and try to get to sleep before he got home. But that would have started a fight. So I didn't. I cried. I called other people who would listen to me. I felt worse because I was being such an idiot. All through this Dave is oblivious to my madness. Luckily for him.

Long story a little shorter - We talked about it this morning. He felt bad. He will do better. All is well in the Ruthenberg household.

Loneliness
Being sick in Enid, OK without family around was lonely. Especially with Dave working so much. I felt sorry for myself at a certain point, not being near the people that I feel comfortable with. Also, missed having my mom around. 58 years old and still sometimes would like to have my mom around. But thank goodness my three kids all took turns listening to me whine. My mother-in-law was a peach and listened also. Even a long distance friend, Denise, who I have never met, was sweet enough to listen to my complaints.

Hopefully next week, I will back to being the selfish, productive person that I love to be. I have to walk on Sunday 9/19 in the Enid MS Walk, so I have to be better.

Oh, if you want to sponsor me at the Walk, click here. www.nationalmssociety.org/goto/dlruthenberg_enid

last day at the hospital - yippee!

I am home now and am feeling better and better.

That was last night. Now today, Monday, I still feel better than I did at the hospital, but nowhere near where I need to be to function normally. Still wheezing a little bit and very tired. I think in my mind I thought I would be all better when I got out of the hospital. Of course, I didn't realize how bad my asthma was and that was what got me in the hospital in the first place. So I had better listen to my body more I guess.

But I still wonder what I did wrong. How did I get so bad so fast? Is my house not clean enough? Did I have too much stress, not enough sleep, not eating properly, etc?

Guess I will have a lot of questions for the doctor when I see him in a week.

2nd half of day 4

Still short of breath and having attacks even with all the steroids and breathing treatments. The doctor said that my body is just taking a little longer to respond to the medication. But my O2 stats are looking good and my lungs are sounding better.

They don't have the results of the CT chest scan. They want to be sure there isn't an underlying problem that is preventing me from getting better. But it is probably just me being slow.

I haven't had severe problems with asthma except for when I have had bronchitis or pneumonia, although in retrospect, the bronchitis/pneumonia might have been caused by the asthma. So whenever I got sick, it would last for months on end. But I thought I was doing better at staying healthy, staying cold free and if I was short of breath, I would take small measures to fix it. This time, no cold/bronchitis symptoms, so it kind of surprised me when my breathing seemed to be compromised so quickly. But in looking back the last few weeks, even two months, I should have paid atttention to some signs that something wasn't right. At night I was having trouble staying asleep and getting up 3-4 times a night, with lots of snoring and restlessness. I would have thought I would be sleeping better because I felt very tired and weak during the day. A consequence of not sleeping was that my concentration level was getting worse. I was having trouble completing projects at work. But all this was happening very slowly.

One thing I can do in the future is to use a peak flow meter daily and track how I do on that. If I start doing poorly on that, then I can talk to my doctor and see if I need to change my medications for my asthma.

I am not sure if I am feeling better tomorrow and the doctor still doesn't have the CT chest scan results if he will let me go home. I know that they don't want to send me home and then have me get worse and have to be admitted again.

We will see what day 5 brings tomorrow.

On another note: My husband is the greatest. He is having to work overtime at work and still he has made time to come to visit, call and make sure that I have the things I need. He has provided me with clean underwear, socks, some extra clothes, food from outside the hospital, and he loving and calming personality. He sat with me this morning for a bit and almost immediately I relaxed and was even starting to fall asleep. I noticed he was dosing off also. For some reason we have that affect on each other...to put the other person at complete ease and even calm each other down. I love just holding his hand because his hand is warm and comforting. I don't think I have ever held anyone else's hand has felt that way to me. I am so thankful I have him in my life.

4th day in the hospital

It is early morning at St. Mary's. I have been awake since 4.m. when the respiratory guy woke me up to give me a breathing treatment. It is 7:00 a.m. now. My breakfast order has been put in.

I have mixed feelings about wanting to go home. Don't get me wrong. I love my home and it will be great to get home, but I am still short of breath when I walk around and have this weird dry cough. I wonder what I will feel like when I go outside - will it be better or worse. I had the CT chest scan with contrast last night and I wonder what there results are. My O2 stats are still around 94-96%. So do I hope that they see something on the CT scan so that they can fix whatever it is, or do I hope there isn't any thing wrong other than asthma and hope they send me home today with instructions on how to better control my asthma symptoms. I am torn.

So later this morning the on-call physician for Family Physicians, Dr. Shelton, will bring me the news and make the decision. Of course, I will FB and the blog the results.

asthma update

It is 10:00 a.m. and I still don't know if I am going home today or not. The nurse doesn't think so. I am feeling a little better. More like I feel when I am at home when I have the problems with my asthma. The nurse thought I might have bronchitis and still need IV antibiotics.

It is 12:40 - still no sign of the doctor telling me if I leaving the hospital or staying another night. I think I feel better. But if they want me to stay another night and I am to get more IV drugs, I need to get a PIC line. The IVs keep collapsing.

Hopefully he will show up soon.

1:15 p.m. - Dr. Lawrence, a wonderful doctor, showed up. He reviewed my labs and stuff. My O2 sats are still not where he wants them. My white blood count skyrocketed to 22,000 (I think that is what he said). A review of normal WBC tell me that it should be in the 4,000 to 10,000 range. This can be caused by the steroids that I have been getting. He said my lungs are clear, but I am still short of breath and weak when moving around. So he wants to do a chest CT with contrast to rule out a pulmonary embolus and/or pulmonary fibrosis (although this is hard to detect, but can sometimes be seen). To be able to do the contrast CT he has to give me more steroids and IV benadryl, because I have had reactions to IV contrast before. Also, my veins are not handling the IV ports, so they will put in a PIC line for easier access. Since I will have the PIC line, then he will give me more IV antibiotics. Otherwise, I could have started taking the antibiotics by mouth. Other stupid thing my body does when taking steroids is I get thrush (yeast infection in the mouth). So medicine for that. If I feel better tomorrow and the CT scan is good, I might be able to go home. But I will be seeing another doctor, Dr. Shelton, who I am told looks like Tom Cruise.

It is worrisome for me about the shortness of breath and stuff because my mother was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis when she was about 58 years old and she died from complications of the disease at age 64. I do not want to follow in my mother's footsteps. I know that I am a little healthier than she was. She was a smoker for a very long time. I just lived with my smoker parents and was exposed to secondhand smoking during my early development years.

Now with years and years of asthma symptoms, bronchitis, pneumonia and just a general decrease in lung capacity ever since the birth of my third child in 1979, it is hard to stop thinking about my mom's problem.

So I have the PICC line and will be getting the CT chest with contrast and will update everyone later.

Asthma sucks

A couple of weeks ago I had to quit going to the GYM because I was having problems breathing while working out. Then I started having problems with coughing up gunk almost every day. This is usually a sign of my asthma symptoms, but I don't usually have the problem every day, maybe just once a week. I take my allergy pill regularly. Take Aciphex to control gastric reflux which can cause asthma. I try to eat right. But sometimes (in the late summer - fall time of year) I just can't control it.

Today was one of those days. Funny thing about not being able to push the bad air out of your lungs - it makes you not think straight. I can't even make the decision for myself to go to the doctor. I keep thinking it will get better. It didn't. I finally went to the doctor. I was coughing, tight chest, and I guess the doctor couldn't really hear the air leaving my lungs. They did a breathing treatment. I wasn't very improved. Only improved enough for the doctor to hear the wheezing as the air was trying to leave. So she wanted to admit me to the hospital so that I could be put on every 6 hour breathing treatments and IV antibiotics and steroids and a chest x-ray in case I had pneumonia.

So off to St. Mary's I went. I am feeling anxious because I was leaving a lot of unfinished business at work. My boss was counting on me. I feel like I am letting everyone down.

But right now I guess I need to do everything the medical staff says so that I can start breathing better. Tomorrow morning I will have the results of the blood tests and chest x-ray. Maybe I have pneumonia and didn't know it. Maybe I just have a bad case of asthma.

After about two hours of trying to start an IV, I finally was able to complete a dose of Rocephin and Zithromax and got a dose of Solu-Medrol. I have had three breathing treatments also. I am still coughing a little, have a tight chest and wheeze on expiration. Hopefully after Dave visits tonight I can sleep and feel better in the morning.

I also feel bad that I am adding to Dave's stress. He is already working long hours and now he is probably worrying about me (a little).

At least he doesn't have to take care of me in the hospital like I took care of him back in August of 2000.

Be careful what you wish for.

I married Dave in 2004. Back then he didn't totally agree with my intuition, my idea that there are angels among us, and my other ideas about life and living. But I think he is slowly coming around.

During a time when his work wasn't going so well, I asked him what he wanted to do instead. He said that he wanted to be a writer. I said go for it. I also told him to put the idea of what type of writer in his mind and to just keep that idea there. Just know that his final goal would become reality, his wish would come true, even though he didn't know how. I said that with that in his mind doors and opportunities would start opening up. He just had to allow himself to believe.

Well, guess what. I think he might grudgingly agree that I was right. Six years later, after having the nerve to move to Enid, OK, he is on his way to realizing his dream. He is now the sports editor for the local paper. I am so proud of him. And I am glad that he allowed me to help him get to where he is at.

Random acts of kindness

I love doing things with Dave and miss him when he has to work nights (which lately is most of the time), but being alone sometimes gives me a chance to perform random acts of kindness. Tonight I was able to give blood and then was going to attend the Movie at the Ballpark. I went up to the concession stand, but there was quite a line. There was only one lady working at the concession. Oh my. One lady jumped out of line and went in and helped. I wanted to help, but didn't know if it was allowed. Finally I got up enough nerve to ask and they said, "Get in here". So I did. I felt like I was in Hell's Kitchen or something. I didn't know where anything was or the prices of things. I finally caught on and the three of us felt into a routine. The lady that was there first, Judy, I think, was awesome. She was buzzing around everywhere, making popcorn, nachos, ice tea, pizza. Then a young girl came to help also. We hit our stride. I was passing out the popcorn and making nachos. The other two were at the windows. It was a fun 45 minutes. I love doing random acts of kindness.

Day off with the hubby

I had a wonderful day off with Dave. It is not often that I get to spend a whole day with him and not have to worry about work or anything else. Friday Dave had a furlough day and he asked me to spend the day with him. After getting the go ahead from the company I work for to take the day off, we started planning the day. Pizza and shopping and get out of town seemed to be the themes for the day.

Now Dave and I rarely fight, but sometimes he gets testy and I get frustrated. These are usually times when we are shopping or eating out when the sales clerk gets too pushy or the wait staff make mistakes or take too long or if the food is not just right. So I always prepare for a few minor confrontations. I always don't do any shopping for myself that might take too long for me to compare prices, try things on, or just otherwise bore Dave to distraction. When we go out together it is all about both of us having a great time, but neither of us being too selfish in the shopping or food area. Like for instance, I love fish to eat, but I never ask Dave to go to a restaurant that is primarily fish, like Red Lobster or something. On the other hand, Dave knows that I only like pizza up to a point, whereas he could eat it morning, noon and night. So he is real conscious about subjecting me to an overload of pizza dining. You see, Dave is one of the sweetest men I know - in a manly way. :)

But we decided to go to the mall in Oklahoma City and then see if we could find a pizza joint to eat at. We are still looking for a good pizza in Oklahoma. So far we have tried all the pizza joints around Enid and even some out in the vast, wide open country around Enid. We even tried a place in Edmond. It was okay, not bad, but still we want the right ingredients, the fresh made taste, perfect crust.

We started our day off at Cafe Garcia to eat a breakfast of two soft taco breakfast tacos with bacon, coffee and on my tacos, fresh mild salsa. This is our favorite breakfast. We usually have it on Sunday morning, but Cafe Garcia has decided to not serve breakfast on Sunday during the summer. Hopefully this will not continue into the fall.

After a brief stop back at the house and then gassing up the car, we were on our way to OKC. The trip always seems longer than we think it is going to be, but Dave listens to talk radio or Status Quo and I read. So we enjoy the quiet companionable time.

At the mall we picked out a couple of stores that we wanted to check out. I will just give you the highlights. The Buckle. Dave found a cool shirt. The sales clerk, Kathy, wasn't too pushy and actually was quite helpful. I even found that they shorten jeans for free so in the future we will check out their jeans for Dave and see if we can get some stylish jeans. I, of course, need to lose more weight to be able to fit into anything in that store. We also found something at Eddie Bauer for me - a light weight vest that has 4 pockets. I want to be able to take my cell phone, camera, binoculars, and video camera (all of them pocket size) and have them accessible quickly when we go hiking. I can't stand things hanging on my neck and a backpack makes it hard to get to the items quickly. They didn't have my size, but again, the sales clerk was so nice and she helped us order it online - should be here in 3-6 days - and I think the shipping is free.

All in all, it was a nice pleasant visit to the mall. As I think of it we didn't even run into groups of people who wouldn't get out of our way or walked right into our path, so we didn't have that irritant either.

Well then it was 3:00 p.m. and we didn't want to do more window shopping, but the pizzeria that we wanted to go to wasn't open until 5:00 p.m. Not knowing what to do we did nothing except drive around Bricktown. We found the first location of the pizzeria, but of course it was closed and it didn't seem to have a lot of parking spaces. Maybe people walk there. It was in an out of the way spot. So we went looking for the other location with the help of our GPS. It was in a better location and more parking. After waiting around at the local Panera until 5, we finally were seated at the Wedge Pizzeria on Western Ave. The waiter was very attentive, explaining how all their ingredients were either made there or imported from Italy or as fresh as they can be. We were given some samples of their homemade meatballs and gelato. Delicious. The pizza was baked in a wood fire oven and was excellent. We topped our pizza with the homemade Italian sausage and mozzarella. The sauce was a combination of the garlic and marinara. I think next time we will order the marinara. Unless I can convince Dave to order two pizzas and he get his with his toppings and I can get mine with my toppings and we can take some home for later.

All in all it was a wonderful day. We have only been married for 6 1/2 years, but I still love hanging out with Dave. He is fun, intelligent, and comfortable to be around. It is so hard to describe. Guess I will stop trying.

Acknowledge other people's accomplishments

My dad and I have been talking on the phone a lot lately. I never was good at communicating with him in the past. I would get so busy with my own life and just forget to call or write. And truthfully he and I used to fight. He would say things, I would get defensive, we both would argue and then we would end hanging up and not talking to each other for a long time. I didn't really understand my dad and I didn't think he liked me or approved of me. He seemed to always be critical of me. I have tried hard to not be that way in my own life, but I think I was doing the same thing to him. I know that I have done well to not be critical of my own children, but yet I was critical of my dad.

I just wanted my dad to say that he thought I was doing well, respected my decisions, even though they were different than what he would do, and not have him dwell on my past mistakes. But I never really stopped to listen to him, or to respect his decisions even though they were different than what I would do, or stop dwelling on his past mistakes.

Well, maybe we both have grown up a bit (I am 58 and he is 87), but now in our phone conversations we don't seem to be doing a lot of blaming of past problems, and I think we are both respecting each others decisions.

I am learning more and more about what he was like when he was growing up and why he is the way he is during these weekly, sometimes biweekly, phone calls. Recently he and I were talking about how he tried and tried to get his parents to recognize his accomplishments and give him some praise, even a little bit. He worked hard on the farm that his family worked (they didn't own their own farm most of the time) in southern Ohio. He worked for other farms and was even able to raise enough money to purchase a refrigerator for his parents - their first refrigerator. He doesn't remember them saying thank you for that gift. There were other things that he did to try to get them to like him. Maybe they did love him, but he didn't feel like they did and this need to please others to get recognition for his accomplishments carried over into his adult life.

My dad served in the army (503rd parachute infantry regiment), was a Zenith TV repairman (back when there were tubes and transistors) and a production engineer at Lear Seigler for 14 years. He provided a very nice home for his family of wife and three kids. I remember that he converted a Volkswagen bus into a "travel trailer" putting in a table and bench seats that converted into bunk beds for everyone to sleep - kind of the first conversion van, I guess. We took that on at least one "out-west" vacation. We were exposed to fishing, camping, horseback riding, the Grand Canyon, and Yellowstone Park.

Growing up I wanted to please my parents and felt that no matter what I did, it was never enough. Maybe since Dad had the same experience with his parents, he was unable to change the pattern with us kids. Maybe his parents also experienced the same thing when they were growing up. It certainly would explain his attitude. I think in some ways because he never received recognition for his accomplishment growing up he was still trying to find that recognition from others in his adult life. Feeling good about yourself without worrying about what others think is a hard thing to learn as you grow up especially if you have never had the prerequisite praise while growing up. At some point you have to learn it, but everyone learns it at different times.

But it doesn't hurt for us to look around us and notice the accomplishments of others and let them know that you appreciate them. It will speed up the process of others feeling good about themselves so that they can then praise others and make them feel good.

Better late than never - I appreciate my dad and all that he has done. He is very thrifty and frugal (something that I certainly can learn from) and has very high standards for neatness and cleanliness. I know that I take after him in my work ethic. He is a very hard worker and if he was able to he would be still working today. He plays to win and hate to lose (bridge and cribbage) and has a great sense of humor.

One of his latest accomplishments which has just blown me away is that at the age of 87 he is now on the Internet. He completes Sudoku puzzles every day on the internet (I cannot complete a puzzle that isn't Easy). Most people his age cannot even turn on a computer, much less get connected to the internet, use email, and monitor Facebook. I have clients that are less computer literate than he is. So I congratulate him on this accomplishment. Having dad have access to the internet makes it easier to communicate with him. I can see when he is online and then call him on the phone. I think the next thing will be for me to send him a microphone so that we can Skype. :)

foot problems

I went to the podiatrist, against the advice of my personal trainer. She feels that a chiropractor using the airrosti method of healing sports injuries would work better. But I do not have any experience with that and am a little distrustful of chiropractors in general. I don't feel they can fix everything. I may try a chiropractor for a musculoskeletal problem, but I think that the podiatrist will find that I have a neuroma or something.

He took x-rays and felt around. I went back today to get the diagnosis and treatment. Tendinitis. He gave me a cortisone shot to help with the inflammation and it should get better. We shall see. I might try some other therapies also, taping, icing, deep massage, etc.

But the good thing is that there are exercises to do that do not hurt my foot. So the personal trainer is working on the rest of my flabby body.

hitting a mini-wall

I am not sure what that means....I guess when you are exercising, running or bicycling and stuff, you hit a wall and need to get past it to continue working out. I think I hit a mini-wall. While walking on the treadmill today the pain in my left foot was getting worse. It starts at the top right of the ankle, and shoots into the joint below my big toe. The pain was probably a 5 or 6, but because it hurt everytime I stepped on that foot I guess it wore me down and I started to get teary. Also, I was trying not to hold on to the treadmill while I walked and swing my arms naturally, but I kept getting off balance. Not sure why.

Well, I tried to hide the fact that I was crying and keep walking, but after 10 minutes, I gave up and went to the restroom to sob a little. When I came out I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, leave or try another machine. Someone asked me what the problem was and I told them - crying again - darn waterworks - and she had me try stretching out the backs of my legs and use a tennis ball to stretch the tendons in my feet. That seemed to help a little. I will have to do that more, of course. I then did about 4 minutes on the rowing machine and called it a day.

With no real weight gain and so much pain, I am pretty discouraged. But I have an appointment with someone at the gym tomorrow who is suppose to assess my problem areas and get a game plan set. Also I wonder if I should go to a podiatrist - maybe get steroid injections in my feet again to help the arthritic inflammation.

on my way to being a fitness freak

Well, I know that I am a computer geek, but can I become a fitness freak? I am going to try. I now have a personal trainer, a gym, and a heart monitor with watch. I have the necessary "gym" clothes and shoes (I think). I had my heart tested a couple of months ago and it is in good shape. I have been tracking my calorie intake for 6 days. woo-woo.

I am not hurting too bad. Went to the gym again today to use the treadmill for 20 minutes. I guess I have two personal trainer sessions set up for next week, plus an extra one for someone to evaluate my right ankle, left knee and right hip problems.

Maybe I will get so healthy I will be running or riding a bike.....who knows.

day 5

When I woke up this morning I wasn't hurting as bad as I thought I would be from the exercising that I did last night. So I was able to get up and go back to the gym and walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I didn't try the other machines that my personal trainer showed me last night. I need to get more comfortable there before I branch out on my own on the equipment that I don't know how to use very well. When I am less shy I will ask to be shown how to use it again.

I am suppose to have two sessions with a personal trainer next week and that might help also. In the meantime, I will keep walking. When I am on the treadmill I can feel my stomach muscles tightening up and my hip joints loosening up. My left knee is tight and a little sore and my right foot is a little sore, but it is all manageable at this point. I probably will take some acetaminophen today to help me not get too sore.

I have been fairly good on my diet and entering my food into the livestrong website. We shall see.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Well, I exercised tonight with my personal trainer. Tomorrow I will probably have pain, but not doing too bad tonight. I will try to go to the gym tomorrow before work. Hopefully I will be able to enjoy this and have fun and possibly lose weight.

Getting old

I admit it..I am overweight and sedentary. Yes, I have let myself go. But I am happy. So, am I doing anything to fix this situation? Well, maybe. Maybe with a little help from the blogosphere and my friends and family. We shall see. Hopefully everyone still loves me whether I am fat or not.

Anyway, when we moved to Oklahoma we signed up to a small gym and thought we would go there regularly to walk and use the gym equipment. But my feet started hurting and Dave never really did like it, so we stopped going.

Since then Dave has embarked on his diet and weight loss. He has lost 22+ pounds and counts his calories religiously via the livestrong.com website.

In the meantime, I am still heavy and my bones ache and creak. I need to get moving. But with the weather being bad and Dave's working hours being so crazy, we haven't been able to get outside and walk.

So....I visited a local establishment called Body Solid. That sounds good. My body isn't very solid and maybe they can make it more solid. There are all kinds of torture chamber type machines in the open airy space and it felt welcoming. So I tentatively asked what their prices and policies were. They don't have a yearly or monthly commitment fee. There is an initial fee of $75 to find out your body age, flexibility, and general state of your health. Then you can sign up with a personal trainer for as low as $20/30 minutes as little or as often as you would like. Then I think you can use the state of the art treadmills (with individual overhead TVs) as often as the gym is open and as long as you have appointments set with your personal trainer.

Last Friday I had my initial assessment. Oh my lord. My 58-year-old body thinks it is 73 years old, or at least that is what the program tells me. After the assessment, I stayed to walk the treadmill for about 15 minutes. I left with a game plan for diet and exercise.

I started using Dave's website to track my calorie intake. Luckily my calorie goal for the day is more than what Dave uses. But then I won't be able to loose a much weight as quickly either. Maybe I will stick with it longer.

Tonight I go back for a 20 minute training session. I will let you know how I do.

So far after three days on the diet, nothing has happened. :(

drugs

So, I guess I haven't purchased a decongestant in a long time. I decided that I might be having some chronic sinusitis and that I needed a decongestant. We had some in the house, but we were getting low, so I thought I would stock up. I went to Walmart to get groceries and thought, good, I will get some Sudafed. In the Allergy aisle, there was only a card in the spot where the Sudafed was suppose to be. It instructed me to take the card to the Pharmacy. I did a little more shopping in the health and beauty area because I knew that there was quite a line at the Pharmacy when I passed it to the Allergy aisle.

When I got to the Pharmacy and handed the card to the cashier, she yells out something like "code red" or something else, I wasn't sure. Another person comes over and asks for my license. But I didn't hear her and gave her my credit card. She gave me a "you are pathetic look" and asked again for my license. I fumbled around and found my license, which she then proceed to read with intense concentration and put all my information in their computer. Then she handed my license back to me and asked me to submit to a strip search and body x-ray, fingerprint, and retinal scans. Just kidding, but I did have to sign my name on the electronic reader. Then she walked away without another word to me. Then the other cashier was ready to take my money. My lord. I felt like I had just been vetted for a new security job or something. All that rigamarole to be able to get rid of my sinus congestion! It might have been easier to ask my doctor to give me a prescription for a decongestant.

a young heart

It is hard to get old. This year I am 58. Oh my lord. Along with just the number of the years getting larger, aches and pains and other old age symptoms crop up. I have known that I have degenerative disc disease which causes pain. Probably some arthritis. Asthma, sinusitis, and through not fault of anyone else, except myself and maybe genetics, obesity.

But I have been having vague chest and back pain. So, I thought I would see if the doctor could figure out what was causing the pain and discomfort. I thought maybe I was having bad heartburn, ulcer, pulmonary problems, or spinal problem. Okay, I did wonder if maybe I was having heart problems. Anyway, I went to the doctor. He did see where I have hardly any cartilage left in my left knee (yes, the painful one), degenerative disc disease in my back, possibly causing numbness and pain in my right leg and foot, inflamed eardrums (chronic sinus drainage). He suggested a shot of steroids to stop the inflammation and possibly a test to see if I was having heart problems. I agreed.

The steroid shot helped for a few days. During that time, I had a cardiac CT. The test needs to be done with contrast and since I have had a reaction to contrast before the doctor gave me the prerequisite prednisone and benedryl before the test. The test was pretty easy. I was done and out of there in about one hour. But my face and neck felt warm to me, although the nurse didn't seem to think anything of it. By the evening, my face and neck were pretty flushed. By morning, I was wheezing and not feeling well. So back to the doctor I went. He gave me another steroid shot and a script for more prednisone. The test was on Wednesday and I was finally feeling better by Saturday, except that my mouth and throat still felt funny. But Sunday, my mouth was burning, especially the tongue, and my throat was sore. Sunday night I realized that I had thrush. So on Monday I had to call the doctor for a script for treating that. I think it is almost gone now.

Sheesh, I starting to think it wasn't worth going to the doctor for answers. Dave is thinking I am nuts. I think that if my ct scan is normal, then I am going to stay way from the doctor and try to figure out my aches and pains on my own, since it seems to be that I just keep having reactions to therapy/tests.

Luckily the results of the cardiac ct were good. I have completely clear arteries and veins around my heart and my heart's function is health, as good as young heart. This is kind of amazing since I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, am obese, and lead a sedentary life.

So with the worry of possibly cardiac problems out of the way, I can safely exercise if I want, watching out for the arthritis, and try other home remedies to self diagnose/treat my silly ailments. Because I am NOT going back to the doctor.

the flowers

Such a simple thing - log onto the hospital website - navigate to the gift shop area and choose a floral arrangement to send to my grown daughter who just had emergency surgery in Michigan while I am sitting here helpless in Oklahoma. Easy enough to pay for the flowers and I feel confident that she will get them. I don't know what else to do, except maybe call her as often as I can without bugging her, monitor facebook to see if she says anything on there, and be supportive when I do talk to her. Oh and send a prayer. I am so thankful that she has other supportive people around her and a loving, caring husband who is there by her side. I almost forget about sending the flowers until she tells me the next time I talk to her that having the flowers there helped her remember that I love her and that I am there in spirit with her. Who knew that just a simple thing would help her not miss me so much. I certainly didn't.