I had a wonderful day off with Dave. It is not often that I get to spend a whole day with him and not have to worry about work or anything else. Friday Dave had a furlough day and he asked me to spend the day with him. After getting the go ahead from the company I work for to take the day off, we started planning the day. Pizza and shopping and get out of town seemed to be the themes for the day.
Now Dave and I rarely fight, but sometimes he gets testy and I get frustrated. These are usually times when we are shopping or eating out when the sales clerk gets too pushy or the wait staff make mistakes or take too long or if the food is not just right. So I always prepare for a few minor confrontations. I always don't do any shopping for myself that might take too long for me to compare prices, try things on, or just otherwise bore Dave to distraction. When we go out together it is all about both of us having a great time, but neither of us being too selfish in the shopping or food area. Like for instance, I love fish to eat, but I never ask Dave to go to a restaurant that is primarily fish, like Red Lobster or something. On the other hand, Dave knows that I only like pizza up to a point, whereas he could eat it morning, noon and night. So he is real conscious about subjecting me to an overload of pizza dining. You see, Dave is one of the sweetest men I know - in a manly way. :)
But we decided to go to the mall in Oklahoma City and then see if we could find a pizza joint to eat at. We are still looking for a good pizza in Oklahoma. So far we have tried all the pizza joints around Enid and even some out in the vast, wide open country around Enid. We even tried a place in Edmond. It was okay, not bad, but still we want the right ingredients, the fresh made taste, perfect crust.
We started our day off at Cafe Garcia to eat a breakfast of two soft taco breakfast tacos with bacon, coffee and on my tacos, fresh mild salsa. This is our favorite breakfast. We usually have it on Sunday morning, but Cafe Garcia has decided to not serve breakfast on Sunday during the summer. Hopefully this will not continue into the fall.
After a brief stop back at the house and then gassing up the car, we were on our way to OKC. The trip always seems longer than we think it is going to be, but Dave listens to talk radio or Status Quo and I read. So we enjoy the quiet companionable time.
At the mall we picked out a couple of stores that we wanted to check out. I will just give you the highlights. The Buckle. Dave found a cool shirt. The sales clerk, Kathy, wasn't too pushy and actually was quite helpful. I even found that they shorten jeans for free so in the future we will check out their jeans for Dave and see if we can get some stylish jeans. I, of course, need to lose more weight to be able to fit into anything in that store. We also found something at Eddie Bauer for me - a light weight vest that has 4 pockets. I want to be able to take my cell phone, camera, binoculars, and video camera (all of them pocket size) and have them accessible quickly when we go hiking. I can't stand things hanging on my neck and a backpack makes it hard to get to the items quickly. They didn't have my size, but again, the sales clerk was so nice and she helped us order it online - should be here in 3-6 days - and I think the shipping is free.
All in all, it was a nice pleasant visit to the mall. As I think of it we didn't even run into groups of people who wouldn't get out of our way or walked right into our path, so we didn't have that irritant either.
Well then it was 3:00 p.m. and we didn't want to do more window shopping, but the pizzeria that we wanted to go to wasn't open until 5:00 p.m. Not knowing what to do we did nothing except drive around Bricktown. We found the first location of the pizzeria, but of course it was closed and it didn't seem to have a lot of parking spaces. Maybe people walk there. It was in an out of the way spot. So we went looking for the other location with the help of our GPS. It was in a better location and more parking. After waiting around at the local Panera until 5, we finally were seated at the Wedge Pizzeria on Western Ave. The waiter was very attentive, explaining how all their ingredients were either made there or imported from Italy or as fresh as they can be. We were given some samples of their homemade meatballs and gelato. Delicious. The pizza was baked in a wood fire oven and was excellent. We topped our pizza with the homemade Italian sausage and mozzarella. The sauce was a combination of the garlic and marinara. I think next time we will order the marinara. Unless I can convince Dave to order two pizzas and he get his with his toppings and I can get mine with my toppings and we can take some home for later.
All in all it was a wonderful day. We have only been married for 6 1/2 years, but I still love hanging out with Dave. He is fun, intelligent, and comfortable to be around. It is so hard to describe. Guess I will stop trying.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Acknowledge other people's accomplishments
My dad and I have been talking on the phone a lot lately. I never was good at communicating with him in the past. I would get so busy with my own life and just forget to call or write. And truthfully he and I used to fight. He would say things, I would get defensive, we both would argue and then we would end hanging up and not talking to each other for a long time. I didn't really understand my dad and I didn't think he liked me or approved of me. He seemed to always be critical of me. I have tried hard to not be that way in my own life, but I think I was doing the same thing to him. I know that I have done well to not be critical of my own children, but yet I was critical of my dad.
I just wanted my dad to say that he thought I was doing well, respected my decisions, even though they were different than what he would do, and not have him dwell on my past mistakes. But I never really stopped to listen to him, or to respect his decisions even though they were different than what I would do, or stop dwelling on his past mistakes.
Well, maybe we both have grown up a bit (I am 58 and he is 87), but now in our phone conversations we don't seem to be doing a lot of blaming of past problems, and I think we are both respecting each others decisions.
I am learning more and more about what he was like when he was growing up and why he is the way he is during these weekly, sometimes biweekly, phone calls. Recently he and I were talking about how he tried and tried to get his parents to recognize his accomplishments and give him some praise, even a little bit. He worked hard on the farm that his family worked (they didn't own their own farm most of the time) in southern Ohio. He worked for other farms and was even able to raise enough money to purchase a refrigerator for his parents - their first refrigerator. He doesn't remember them saying thank you for that gift. There were other things that he did to try to get them to like him. Maybe they did love him, but he didn't feel like they did and this need to please others to get recognition for his accomplishments carried over into his adult life.
My dad served in the army (503rd parachute infantry regiment), was a Zenith TV repairman (back when there were tubes and transistors) and a production engineer at Lear Seigler for 14 years. He provided a very nice home for his family of wife and three kids. I remember that he converted a Volkswagen bus into a "travel trailer" putting in a table and bench seats that converted into bunk beds for everyone to sleep - kind of the first conversion van, I guess. We took that on at least one "out-west" vacation. We were exposed to fishing, camping, horseback riding, the Grand Canyon, and Yellowstone Park.
Growing up I wanted to please my parents and felt that no matter what I did, it was never enough. Maybe since Dad had the same experience with his parents, he was unable to change the pattern with us kids. Maybe his parents also experienced the same thing when they were growing up. It certainly would explain his attitude. I think in some ways because he never received recognition for his accomplishment growing up he was still trying to find that recognition from others in his adult life. Feeling good about yourself without worrying about what others think is a hard thing to learn as you grow up especially if you have never had the prerequisite praise while growing up. At some point you have to learn it, but everyone learns it at different times.
But it doesn't hurt for us to look around us and notice the accomplishments of others and let them know that you appreciate them. It will speed up the process of others feeling good about themselves so that they can then praise others and make them feel good.
Better late than never - I appreciate my dad and all that he has done. He is very thrifty and frugal (something that I certainly can learn from) and has very high standards for neatness and cleanliness. I know that I take after him in my work ethic. He is a very hard worker and if he was able to he would be still working today. He plays to win and hate to lose (bridge and cribbage) and has a great sense of humor.
One of his latest accomplishments which has just blown me away is that at the age of 87 he is now on the Internet. He completes Sudoku puzzles every day on the internet (I cannot complete a puzzle that isn't Easy). Most people his age cannot even turn on a computer, much less get connected to the internet, use email, and monitor Facebook. I have clients that are less computer literate than he is. So I congratulate him on this accomplishment. Having dad have access to the internet makes it easier to communicate with him. I can see when he is online and then call him on the phone. I think the next thing will be for me to send him a microphone so that we can Skype. :)
I just wanted my dad to say that he thought I was doing well, respected my decisions, even though they were different than what he would do, and not have him dwell on my past mistakes. But I never really stopped to listen to him, or to respect his decisions even though they were different than what I would do, or stop dwelling on his past mistakes.
Well, maybe we both have grown up a bit (I am 58 and he is 87), but now in our phone conversations we don't seem to be doing a lot of blaming of past problems, and I think we are both respecting each others decisions.
I am learning more and more about what he was like when he was growing up and why he is the way he is during these weekly, sometimes biweekly, phone calls. Recently he and I were talking about how he tried and tried to get his parents to recognize his accomplishments and give him some praise, even a little bit. He worked hard on the farm that his family worked (they didn't own their own farm most of the time) in southern Ohio. He worked for other farms and was even able to raise enough money to purchase a refrigerator for his parents - their first refrigerator. He doesn't remember them saying thank you for that gift. There were other things that he did to try to get them to like him. Maybe they did love him, but he didn't feel like they did and this need to please others to get recognition for his accomplishments carried over into his adult life.
My dad served in the army (503rd parachute infantry regiment), was a Zenith TV repairman (back when there were tubes and transistors) and a production engineer at Lear Seigler for 14 years. He provided a very nice home for his family of wife and three kids. I remember that he converted a Volkswagen bus into a "travel trailer" putting in a table and bench seats that converted into bunk beds for everyone to sleep - kind of the first conversion van, I guess. We took that on at least one "out-west" vacation. We were exposed to fishing, camping, horseback riding, the Grand Canyon, and Yellowstone Park.
Growing up I wanted to please my parents and felt that no matter what I did, it was never enough. Maybe since Dad had the same experience with his parents, he was unable to change the pattern with us kids. Maybe his parents also experienced the same thing when they were growing up. It certainly would explain his attitude. I think in some ways because he never received recognition for his accomplishment growing up he was still trying to find that recognition from others in his adult life. Feeling good about yourself without worrying about what others think is a hard thing to learn as you grow up especially if you have never had the prerequisite praise while growing up. At some point you have to learn it, but everyone learns it at different times.
But it doesn't hurt for us to look around us and notice the accomplishments of others and let them know that you appreciate them. It will speed up the process of others feeling good about themselves so that they can then praise others and make them feel good.
Better late than never - I appreciate my dad and all that he has done. He is very thrifty and frugal (something that I certainly can learn from) and has very high standards for neatness and cleanliness. I know that I take after him in my work ethic. He is a very hard worker and if he was able to he would be still working today. He plays to win and hate to lose (bridge and cribbage) and has a great sense of humor.
One of his latest accomplishments which has just blown me away is that at the age of 87 he is now on the Internet. He completes Sudoku puzzles every day on the internet (I cannot complete a puzzle that isn't Easy). Most people his age cannot even turn on a computer, much less get connected to the internet, use email, and monitor Facebook. I have clients that are less computer literate than he is. So I congratulate him on this accomplishment. Having dad have access to the internet makes it easier to communicate with him. I can see when he is online and then call him on the phone. I think the next thing will be for me to send him a microphone so that we can Skype. :)
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