I thought I would post a follow up of the after effects of the stupid asthma attack. Hopefully it will clear my mind and maybe put some friends and family fears to rest that I am going crazy. Or maybe not. Who knows.
Let me preface this blog post by saying that I hate having to ask anyone for help or not being able to fully accomplish my duties at home and work. I am much happier helping others and doing a good job.
So, anyway, I finally get home from the hospital - where I will remind everyone that I didn't want be in the first place, but the doctor said I had to go and then the doctor said I had to stay - and I am feeling a little better, but I am still coughing, wheezing in the upper airways, and apparently now emotionally off-kilter from the steroids that I got in the hospital.
Do the doctors know everything?
I would say no. I went to the doctor on Thursday because I still felt bad, but not bad enough to be in the hospital. Actually, I hope to never want to be in the hospital. Anyway, I went alone, so maybe I heard him wrong, but he said he thought my reaction to the asthma attack was more than it should have been. What? You mean I was overreacting to not being able to breathe? What the heck was I suppose to do? I haven't had an attack like that ever. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I didn't know what to do. I went to the doctor to help me. The doctor said I needed to go to the hospital. What was I suppose to do? Not go to the hospital? Then when I wanted to go home, the doctor told me I couldn't because my O2 sats and wheezing needed to be under control. Okay, now I am very confused. I guess I will have to talk to him again and see if I misunderstood.
But the steroids and the inhalers and the antibiotics are messing up my body. I think. Or whatever triggered the asthma attack is messing up my body. I still am coughing, wheezing and generally feel weak whenever I try to do anything. But I can breathe. Today, Saturday, I am much better...still coughing and weak, though.
Asthma action plan and regimen:
1. When lungs feel tingly and/or am having trouble with attacks while exercising, I will start nebulizer treatments 4 times a day for a day or so.
2. I will check my peak flow meter readings every day.
3. If the nebulizer treatment doesn't seem to work, I will call the doctor so he can start me on an oral steroid.
Things I should have remembered about my asthma symptoms
Every fall I have problems
Every four years or so, it gets worse (last bad attack was in Fall 2006)
Moving to a different part of the country can cause more problems
What are husband are for anyway?
Okay, I was singing my husband's praises in an earlier blog, but I was really mad at him on Thursday and most of Friday and okay, maybe a little today. No, I think I am over it. What did he do? It was what he didn't do or what I perceived that he didn't do. He didn't take my health seriously. He was very preoccupied with his work and didn't go with me to the doctor the first time and then again on Thursday.
When I am not feeling well I do not (apparently) make good decisions for myself and it would have been helpful if my husband, who granted is overworked and stressed from said work, could have helped me make the decision to go to the doctor, eventually go to the hospital, and later support when when the doctor was saying I was overreacting.
So I was rightfully, I thought, mad at him. But with him being overworked and stressed already, I was not about to confront him during work or late at night. In my mature, yet over emotional, mind I knew that that would not have been a good thing. Not good for him, not good for me. So I plotted in my mind. I needed a good night's sleep. Since Dave has been coming home late, he wants to stay up for a while and companionship. This has caused my sleep habits to be totally out of whack, plus the steroids have not helped either. My plan was put blankets and pillows out on the couch and close the bedroom door and try to get to sleep before he got home. But that would have started a fight. So I didn't. I cried. I called other people who would listen to me. I felt worse because I was being such an idiot. All through this Dave is oblivious to my madness. Luckily for him.
Long story a little shorter - We talked about it this morning. He felt bad. He will do better. All is well in the Ruthenberg household.
Loneliness
Being sick in Enid, OK without family around was lonely. Especially with Dave working so much. I felt sorry for myself at a certain point, not being near the people that I feel comfortable with. Also, missed having my mom around. 58 years old and still sometimes would like to have my mom around. But thank goodness my three kids all took turns listening to me whine. My mother-in-law was a peach and listened also. Even a long distance friend, Denise, who I have never met, was sweet enough to listen to my complaints.
Hopefully next week, I will back to being the selfish, productive person that I love to be. I have to walk on Sunday 9/19 in the Enid MS Walk, so I have to be better.
Oh, if you want to sponsor me at the Walk, click here. www.nationalmssociety.org/goto/dlruthenberg_enid
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