Monday, March 06, 2006

My people will be extinct

Yes, my people will be extinct. Society will kill off all of my people. Natural selection will slowly make so that no one who looks like me will be around. It saddens me. Blondes will be extinct in 200 hundred years. What can we do to stop this decline? Forget that blacks, asians, mexicans, and others are being overlooked and downtrodden. Soon there will be no blondes. What am I to do? I feel that I need to raise awareness for this. Infomercials will probably be the best way to get my message out. But first, I probably need to write a true story book to help bring together the few blondes that are left in existance.

Please, please, do not kill any more blondes, as you are killing my people.

From Geraldo at Large Blog (click on my title above to view full blog):
"According to a study just published in The Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior, blondes are about to stop having more fun.

Reported this weekend in both the London and New York Times, the study maintains that it's because blondes have become obsolete. Flashback to the end of the last Ice Age in Northern Europe: 10,000-11,000 years ago, times were tough. The only real food available was the herds of wooly mammoth, reindeer, bison and horses. But hunting the critters armed with at best primitive weapons was dangerous, sometimes deadly work — and a disproportionate number of the mostly male hunters were killed.

That made for intense competition among women for the scarce men. The study authored by Peter Frost of St. Andrews University in Scotland maintains that blonde, blue-eyed ness, which began as a rare mutation then caught on. Every cave man wanted one, and as they selectively sought them out, increasing numbers of Northern European women evolved with blonde hair and blue eyes with which to stand out from their darker female rivals — kind of a Darwinian makeover to help them score that hard-to-get caveman.

But Mother Nature's roots are showing!

Because relative to the entire population too few people carry the blond gene, natural as opposed to bottle blondes are likely to be extinct within the next 200 years. According to the study, the last natural blonde is likely to be born in Finland in the year 2202.

See, you thought you just had global warming, or Iran getting the bomb to worry about."

4 comments:

Kari said...

Don't worry mom, maybe this means that you'll be worth more money. :) I mean you are an endangered species...

Brett said...

Nice "off the beaten path" blog post :)

Since I carry a recessive blonde gene in by Punnett Square, or evolutionary roulette table, perhaps I can gain some government funding to reproduce and help divert this tragedy.

I merely seek to maintain the wonderful diversity of the human race... thats all... but I'm going to need that government funding to help protect an endangered species.

Kari said...

Is it possible that Charly could be blonde? I didn't think so, because Mark and I are both brunettes, but since you are, is that possible?
I'm not up on my genetics....

Deborah Ruthenberg said...

It is completely possible that Charly will be blonde, especially at first. My mother and father were both brunettes, although they told me that they were blonde for a few years at birth, especially my dad. My grandfather who died when I was five was supposed to have been a true blonde, although when he died he was bald, so I don't know for sure. My other grandparents were all brunettes, I think. So, yes, Charly could be blond.

Brett, I think the government funding is a good idea. Since people from Indian backgrounds can get government assistance and money is given to groups who help preserve extinct animals, we should get assistance also to help prevent the extinction of blondes.