Happy Mother's Day

Sometimes I miss my mom. She and I were not that close. I am not sure why. I think she didn't understand me and probably I didn't understand her. But I liked her. I just felt like I couldn't talk to her about things. I tried, but she would act like I was bothering her, so I stopped trying. Maybe I didn't listen to her, but I don't remember her really confiding in me or trying to.

But there was some kind of connection between her and me. I remember a few times when I thought she must be psychic or something. When I was pregnant a second time and Brett was about 14 months old, Jerry was studying for his exams and he was sick with a very bad cold. I all of sudden started spotting. I think the next day, my mom called to see how I was doing. I told her and the next thing I knew she and Ken were driving down to get Brett and I. She took us back to Grand Rapids and put me to bed. Then she called our family doctor. He had me go to the hospital where I miscarried. Mom took care of Brett while I was recovering.

There were other times when she would call out of the blue when things were going on in my life. So even though we never really had any heart to heart talks with each other, she always seemed to be there for me. I hope I was there for her when she needed some one also.

Driving to the hospital where she was dying, I knew I wouldn't make it to be there by her bedside when she took her last breath. I had been there the night before and I knew that she was at peace with dying. Looking at the clock in the car, I thought to myself, "Go ahead Mom, you don't have to wait for me", and later the nurse told me that she passed away at that time. I wonder if she still hears me now and then as the years go by. I do miss her, even though it has been 11 years.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.