mall etiquette

New book I am writing. Mall Etiquette.

• When you walk in the mall, please walk at an even pace. Whether slow or fast, at least be consistent.
• Stay to the right of the hallway, not on the left.
• If you have to bring your whole darn family or all your friends, walk two abreast. Do not try to all walk side by side.
• If you have to cross to the other side to get to a certain store, then cross quickly.
• Know where you are going, don't meander aimlessly, stopping and starting intermittently.
• Please shower before coming to the mall.
• Keep children with you at your side or behind you.
• If you have a screaming, kicking, crying child, please remove the child from the mall.